Disney Travelogue, Part Two

We began our first full day at Disney World in Cinderella's Castle, having breakfast with her highness and friends. Needless to say, meeting Cinderella was a HUGE highlight for a certain little girl.

We'd gotten so little sleep the night before, that the little one was on a bit of an edge during breakfast, and there was one minor meltdown. Also, she read the back of the wand and star they gave her, and reported, LOUDLY, "They gave me a wishing star...and it is MADE IN CHINA."

Fortunately, most of the day was happyhappyhappy, and not a little bit silly.

From there, it was off to ride the greatest carousel ever, which to tell the truth, Mommy probably enjoyed as much as Daughter. Heck, we ALL rode the carousel.

I want topiaries now, worse than I ever did before. And I wanted them pretty badly before. If you can make baby elephant shrubbery, a poodle ought to be a snap.

Yep, Mommy rode the Dumbo ride. And I'm glad I did.

Highlights from the Magic Kingdom were Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Mickey's PhilharMagic 3-D show. Bella FREAKED during the 3-D show. She'd never seen anything like it, and kept reaching out trying to grab things, dodging projectiles, and squealing when we got "splashed" with water (there are tiny sprayers on the backs of all the seats that squirt a little water at certain times during the show). It was a hoot. This 3-D show was really good, but the ones at the other parks were pretty pitiful in comparison. It was kind of too bad that we saw this one first, because then we thought they'd all be that good. Nope!

Bella loved "It's A Small World," but it freaked Alex and me out more than a little.

After hitting most of the rides and attractions Bella was interested in, we hit a lull. When a five-year-old, who is in the middle of THE MAGIC KINGDOM, says to you, "I think I need to take a break," then it's time to TAKE A BREAK. Besides, by this time, she was drawing attention away from some of the performers.

So we undertook the torturous journey back to the Grand Floridian resort (this is an important part of the Disney experience--they do NOT make it easy to get back and forth between your hotel room and the parks, because if you are not in the park, you are not GIVING THEM YOUR MONEY), where we all took LONG naps. I can't speak for everyone, but for me? That was one GOOD nap. That evening, Alex and I let his mom get a little more rest, and we took Bella back out to the Magic Kingdom so we could hit the rides we'd missed during the day: Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Pirates of the Caribbean. It was great; there were no lines, and riding the rides in the dark made for a dramatic experience. Bella LOVED Splash Mountain, which really surprised me. I expected it to frighten her, but no. She'd have ridden it all day. Since there were no lines, we went directly from Splash Mountain to Big Thunder Mountain, where the roller coaster does a lot of twisting and turning and short drops. She loved THAT one, too. After it was over, she was practically VIBRATING, and I asked her, "So, what did you think of that?" She said, "It was just...so...nervous, and...and...annoying...AND GREAT!" Hey, whaddaya know? Just like Mommy--nervous, annoying, and great!

On our way out of the park, we just had time to slip into the last voyage on the totally Depp-u-tized "Pirates of the Caribbean" attraction. We were underwhelmed, for the most part, though the multiple appearances of wax Johnny Depp-as-Captain-Jack-Sparrow figures was at first impressive and then unsettling. It was somewhere around this time that I wondered aloud if Disney had a morgue, or holding area for folks that drop dead from heat exhaustion, and Alex opined that they probably just prop you up in the POTC attraction until your body is claimed.

We got back to the hotel just in time (barely) to get ready for our 9:00 dinner reservation that Alex's mom had arranged for our anniversary, which happened to be that day. But that's another post.

Disney Travelogue, Part One

We set out last week, bright and early, and got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Yaaay, us! And then we were promptly fogged in. For HOURS. Thank goodness for Webkinz and Leapster.

Even so, it wasn't long before Bella was losing patience, and crying, "Can we just go to Disney World already? THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE." Our original flight was delayed, delayed, delayed again, and finally canceled. If you want to witness a really sad scene, hang around the airport terminal when they announce the cancellation of the day's only flight to Orlando, and then watch two dozen Disney-bound children burst into simultaneous tears. Eventually Alex got us another flight that, unfortunately, went through Atlanta instead of directly to Orlando. Bella was really excited about flying, and thoroughly loved it. I was apprehensive at first, mostly due to the good-sized crop of trepidatious (the correct word is "trepid," just in case you're relying on me for vocabulary enrichment, but it's not nearly as satisfying as "trepidatious"), sobbing children all around us. I thought their anxiety would be contagious, but I needn't have worried. It wasn't long before she was an old hand at flying, and was ordering snacks and beverages like she'd been doing it her whole life.

And yes, those are MY iPod earbuds, and yes, they fit my five-year-old daughter. If you are similarly afflicted with teeny-tiny ears, and standard iPod earbuds are a problem for you like they are for me (and my kid), then I highly recommend this model, that my mom found. They're made by Sony.

So it was that we arrived in Orlando not around noon, as intended, but something close to eight hours later, and dog-tired. We took Disney's Magic Express (definition: comfy bus with a perfectly-timed Disney infomercial playing on GPS-driven television sets) from the airport to our hotel, leaving our checked bags behind for Disney to pick up and deliver to our suite. In hindsight, if we'd picked up our own bags, we would have been able to go to sleep in our own pajamas that night, but we weren't exactly thinking straight.

No matter what time you arrive, Disney's Grand Floridian Resort and Spa is one heck of an impressive place. Bella and I were both well-entertained by the ginormous Christmas tree and life-size gingerbread house (yes, made of real gingerbread) for the duration of the checking-in process. Alex's mom had secured us some first-class lodgings, and we were verrrrry grateful.

In that backpack is her Webkinz pink pony, "Alice." She wore it ALL DAY LONG, never once taking it off.

Once the concierge had us finally settled into our rooms, albeit without luggage at that point, we ordered room service and went to bed, which caused our luggage to be delivered at last. No, I can't prove causation, but that's how it played out.

The next morning, we were off to the Magic Kingdom, where we had reservations in Cinderella Castle for breakfast at Cinderella's Royal Table. I cannot possibly overstate the anticipation for this event in one five-year-old girl. Having said breakfast reservations gets you into the park shortly before it opens, along with the opportunity for pictures like this (click it, please--it's so pretty!):

But be aware that while you're taking that picture, you're just about to miss THIS one:

And you really want to document that first glimpse of CINDERELLA'S ACTUAL CASTLE in person...which will be followed shortly by a near-meltdown due to overwhelming emotions. I believe the sentiment expressed at this point was, "THIS IS JUST BLOWING MY MIND!"

Click through to see the note on this photo, and how we very nearly lost Bella to Disney Princess Delirium. More to come.

Block Heads

I'm going through and bookmarking sites and making lists of things I love for Christmas this year, and the kids' selections are pretty slim so far. But I do have one resource that I really want to share, and that is wooden toy maker John Michael Linck. Well, Mr. Linck is not wooden; he makes wooden toys. You know perfectly well what I meant. Anyway, his stuff is amazing, and intended to last not just for years, but for generations.


Bella received, in 2003, when she was barely a year old, as a gift from her grandparents, Mr. Linck's fabulous Block Wagon. This is not a cheap item, by any means. But then again, it's...well, it's not a cheap item. It's meant to be an heirloom. It is the most-played-with toy she has ever owned, and she has never stopped playing with it from the time she first got it to the present day--right now it's in a prominent spot in the living room, and she builds from it several times a week.

Bella learned to pull up and walk with the aid of that block wagon. And then she built her first structures, which were, admittedly, simple in the beginning.

She used the blocks for abstract art, as seen here, in "Family Portrait, In Blocks."

Currently, one of her favorite things to do is to build a fanciful structure of the blocks, and then set up her easel and pastels and create a still-life based on what she's built from the blocks. She even photographs it--often.

I'm telling you, this thing is incredible, and I love that one day she'll be able to pass it down to her own child. The construction is flawless, and each block is satiny smooth and perfect.

Mr. Linck makes an assortment of toys, including a smaller pull-behind wagon full of building blocks, and an impressive set of wooden train cars meant to last a lifetime and beyond. Many items are affordibly priced, and there's even a "train car of the month" club, which I have to admit seems kinda cool. And there are TWENTY cars to choose from!


This is my contribution, totally unsolicited and uncompensated in any way, this year, to the No More Plastic Crap From China movement, as well as the effort to buy handmade, as far as major toy items go. You certainly couldn't do much better.

Cheap--I Mean, Inexpensive--Gifts That Are Awesome

You're welcome. I browse a lot of Etsy shops, make a lot of bookmarks, and read a lot of Southern Living. And I don't believe in going broke to celebrate occasions that are about giving. Without further ado, here are some really great finds, all less than $50, and most less than $20. I know I would be tickled to receive any item on this list, and we all know what good taste I have, right? Oh, and as always, I don't have any financial affiliation with any of these sellers; this is just stuff I like.

Food:

-The Lee Bros. Southern Cookbook, $35. Won the James Beard Cookbook of the Year Award.
-Speaking of the Lee Bros., try their Fresh Boiled Peanuts, $25.50 for 5 lbs. Ask Styro.
-Betsy's Cheese Straws, $4-23.00 Oh, so good.
-Jackson Biscuit Company's Southern Style Beaten Biscuits, $2.50 per dozen. A real treat.
-Lava Bar, $1.99 per half-dozen. The closest you can get to mainlining chocolate.
-Straight outta N'awlins, Aunt Sally's Pralines, $11.49 These were my dad's idea of heaven on earth.
-A hometown favorite, Cavender's Greek Seasoning, $15 per 6-pack. Arkansans use this stuff on everything. When I met Alex, this was the main weapon in his cooking arsenal, and it's a good one.
-BaconSalt, $4.49. My favorite is the Peppered variety, and my favorite use so far is with baked potatoes and pasta.
-And finally, if you want to make a displaced Southerner weep with nostalgia and joy, then spend $4 and treat them to an RC Cola and a Moon Pie. I'm a little teary-eyed just typing that.

Jewelry:

-Browse Yelena's whole store, starting with this Butter Jade necklace, $39. She's running a great holiday sale right now.
-Sterling silver bass-clef-inspired earrings, $14, which I love because they're pierced, but have no clasp or backing. Simple.
-Gorgeous, sweet little orange sterling-silver/polymer earrings, $17.90. Darling.
-Dragonfly "Earwings," $29. I love bug jewelry, and bonus points for the clever name.
-Cobalt Corian ring, $20. Yep, that stuff your countertops are made of. Way cute.

Art:

-"Stations," fine art print by Andrea Pratt, $40. I LOVE THIS PAINTING. Heck, I own the original. Andrea has printed some of her other work recently, so shop around her store a little.
-Chunky Landscape Prints by Mandy Budan, $40. This artist has really found a style that works for her, and despite not being a big landscape fan, I can't help but like these extremely interesting paintings she does.
-Photography by Schmutzie, from $15. She's gifted, has soul, and besides, she's a striking writer. And also, a writer who is currently on strike. Photos with depth, texture, and emotion.
-Inspirational items from Jen Lemen, $7-15. A really great way to uplift a sister.
-Retro-flavored prints, from $10, in splashy, delicious colors, many featuring long and lanky black cats or snooty poodles. These would be great for any deco or Eames fans, and they're just fun and funky.

Housewares:

-When I tell you that Heber Springs, Arkansas-based Aromatique is the best home fragrance purveyor in all the world, you need to just believe me. And their Cinnamon Cider line from $9-20, is the favorite of just about everyone I know, especially at this time of year. Just DELICIOUS.
-Japanese Pickle Press, $24.99. You don't even care what it does. You just like saying "Why, it's a Japanese pickle press," authoritatively, when you give it.
-CUTEST EVER roundish cranberry coffee mug, with four precious little round "feet," $15. The "feet" not only make this mug unique and adorable, they also serve to protect surfaces from condensation, so you don't need a coaster. Man, this thing is cute.
-More suitable to cafe au lait, nice wide-mouthed The Perfect Mug, $10, is just begging to be cradled in both hands.
-"Color Sample" Tableware, $4-7. I want just about every piece of this.
-Bella wants to use chopsticks BADLY, but just doesn't have the manual dexterity yet, so I can't wait to give her these Clothespin Chopsticks, $3.99.
-Hand-thrown Galaxy Bowl, $18. Just gorgeous, and I can't believe the price.

Novelty/Miscellaneous:

-The Elf On The Shelf, $29.95. Just check it out.
-Give someone Herpes (or mono, a cold, even mad cow), $7.99
-Catnip Banana, $4. Hilarious cat/banana interaction potential.
-Handmade wooden Gumball/Candy Dispenser, $15. I'm thinking this looks like a good option for Bella's teacher, who keeps big bowls of Skittles and M&Ms on her desk.
-Funky, cute retro-flavored aprons from Boojiboo, $15-22. These make me want to throw a non-alcoholic cocktail party. What? I don't know.
-Tiny Superhero Robot, $10. Just what it sounds like. A tiny, superhero robot.
-Cherry Wood Baby Rattle, $18.95. Perfect fin the current Toxic Toy Aftermath.
-From Lucky Threadz Tees, Grammar Crackers, $14. These is good.
-I want every single one of my dogs to have one of these knitted Holly Dog Collars, $12. This design is brilliant, and incorporates the holly branch, leaves, and berries. SO cute.
-Alex really wants one of these Ninja Remotes from ThinkGeek, $8.99, which allow you to commandeer just about any TV set. No more "Oprah" in the doctor's waiting room!
-If you know someone who's into flickr, then they might have MOO cards. And if they have MOO cards, then they want one of these clip-on MOOPockets, $15. Splatgirl has a stunning variety of fabrics.
-And while you're in Splatgirl's shop, you need to shop for your dog some more, and get him/her/them some of these fabulous, funky, colorful collars, $15. She also makes custom leashes to match.
-Dog Breed Puzzimals, $10, speaking of dogs.
-Finally, to Alex's utter delight, you, too, can give a loved one that gift, in a box, immortalized by Justin Timberlake. You know what I'm talking about. $25 buys you much hilarity, as well as increased cancer awareness and a donation to a cancer charity.

Oh, and stock up on Secret Agent Josephine's Gift Tags to keep your gifts sorted out, $2 per dozen, and super-cute.

Happy Shopping!

It's Not The List I'd Have Chosen

Fortunately for me, Bella, having the holiday-season attention span of most other just-turned-five-year-olds, will forget most of the things on this list...unfortunately for me, the stupid Dora's Talking Kitchen will NOT be one of those things. Some diplomacy and sleight-of-hand is going to be required if I'm going to get her wanting something else soon.

I asked Bella to make me a list of things she might like to have for Christmas, for Mommy and Daddy to choose from. (I do love that when she makes a list, she's pretty much expecting to get one thing, or maybe two, from that list, and not the whole list, which I'm betting will come later.) So she went and scrounged up a giant piece of cardboard, and here is the list she made, WRIT LARGE upon it:

And I quote, with original writing/spelling idiosyncracies:

*A PRINCESS KICHEN (see last item on list for more about this)
*A PRINCESS STORE (I am so opposed to the idea of "princess shopping" on so many levels that this will never happen ever)
*ELEPHUN THe eLEPHANT (This game is well-known to be a piece of crap, unfortunately.)
*GLOVES FOR MRS. CLAUS (Since the gift of a Christmas outfit for her American Girl doll, the doll has been named "Mrs. Claus," just until Christmas.)

And here is where she breaks out the BIG FONT, which makes me wonder if she's destined for a life of graphic design--seriously--could you make letters like that, in ink, when you were five?:

*PRINCESS DOLLS THAT CAN TALK (is there even such a thing?)
*BARBie GIRLS (NOT gonna happen. I'm so ticked off at Mattel for the stupid Barbie jumping horse fiasco on Bella's birthday that Barbie and I are totally not on speaking terms.)
*JAM'N (Backward 'J', backward apostrophe, but again, stylish font!) JeeP (This item might actually be part of the above, as in "Barbie Girls' Jam'n Jeep." I just don't know. But it won't be Jam'n here.)
*(again featuring all backwards apostrophes, but hey--she already uses them correctly more often than half the signmakers around town) DORA'S LET'S GeT ReADY VANITY! YAY (The "YAY" and exclamation mark are because she REALLY wants it--ugh.)
*SPARKLE AND TWIRL DORA (Don't even know what this is, but I know I don't like it.)
*LITTLE TIKES 2-iN-1 WORKSHOP (a little young, but we can adapt something)
*FISHING TIKE (Explanation: "When I wrote it, I couldn't remember that it was called a 'fishing rod.' So I just wrote 'TIKE' instead. Because that's who makes it." Yup, she's already brand-savvy...and has also apparently forgotten that she already has a pretty awesome REAL rod & reel.)
*NORMAL DOLLS (Your guess is as good as mine.)
And finally, an amendment, down there at the bottom in pink ink, because priorities changed during the making of this list, it seems:
*DORA'S TALKING KITCHEN, NOT A PRINCESS KITCHEN (This is the only item that comes up over and over, and I'm just so not thrilled about the prospect of another hunk of plastic sitting around the house.)

Obviously, this list is not the list I'd have created, but hey, it's not MY five-year-old Christmas, is it? All the same, I think I can take this list and come up with some decent workarounds and adaptations that will make her happy. I have some definite ideas, and will update after the fact, if I'm successful. If not, I'll be buried under a pile of pink plastic junk. Other things have been mentioned, like Webkinz stuff and American Girl accessories, and she has a pretty amazing gift coming from Grandmommy that may or may not get here in time for Christmas, and Grandmama (other one) is taking her to DISNEY WORLD in December, so this particular list isn't stressing me out too badly. I think I can make it work.

Is Sister Schubert Holding This Woman's Family Hostage?

Is it just me, or is there an air of desperation in this Sister Schubert ad? More specifically, in Sister Schubert's facial expression?

"Buy my rolls. Please. They have my children."

Also, today, during a commercial for Mirapex, which is being marketed to treat Restless Leg Syndrome, mixed into the listing of the possible side effects, I heard, "Notify your doctor if you experience an increase in gambling, sexual, or other intense urges." Um... OKAY THEN.

"Honey, where've you been, and why is our checking account empty?"

"Let's just say my restless legs got REALLY restless."


Crap like this would seem SO much funnier accompanied by a DaveToon

BaconSalt!

Because I love The Pudding. The Fluid Pudding, that is. Because she talks smart and fancy, and is funny, and is kind, has made out with Harry Truman, and shares important discoveries with the world, like this one:

It came yesterday, delivered to my office, and Alex and I went around forcing everyone to taste it, and to say, "Oh my gosh, that really DOES taste like bacon!" I knew that FP had had a somewhat disappointing first BaconSalt experiment with scrambled eggs, that involved various parts of her brain arguing with each other (I can't really sympathize, because I can ONLY eat eggs as a side dish, no matter what flavor they might be, so this is one I'd never have tried--plus, the various parts of my brain are not on speaking terms with each other), so Alex rushed right over to the grocery store and bought some big ol' potatoes.

Short review: BaconSalt baked potatoes are DEELISH. I used both the original and peppered flavors of BaconSalt on mine, and if I'd had a baked potato the size of my head with the BaconSalt on it, I think I could have eaten it. Or, you know, gone down trying. So, in the end, we had a low-cal dinner of broccoli and baked potatoes, but felt as though we ate like kings. BaconSalt + 'Taters = GOOD THING.

I speak more of this, plus the week in review and the horror of my front entryway, in a couple of recent posts over yonder.

Oh, yeah--no remuneration was received for this post, not even free BaconSalt, sadly. The BaconSalt people don't even know I exist, but for my order. Although, now that I've posted this stuff everywhere, if they just wanted to send me free swag, I'd be totally cool with that.