It's Not The List I'd Have Chosen

Fortunately for me, Bella, having the holiday-season attention span of most other just-turned-five-year-olds, will forget most of the things on this list...unfortunately for me, the stupid Dora's Talking Kitchen will NOT be one of those things. Some diplomacy and sleight-of-hand is going to be required if I'm going to get her wanting something else soon.

I asked Bella to make me a list of things she might like to have for Christmas, for Mommy and Daddy to choose from. (I do love that when she makes a list, she's pretty much expecting to get one thing, or maybe two, from that list, and not the whole list, which I'm betting will come later.) So she went and scrounged up a giant piece of cardboard, and here is the list she made, WRIT LARGE upon it:

And I quote, with original writing/spelling idiosyncracies:

*A PRINCESS KICHEN (see last item on list for more about this)
*A PRINCESS STORE (I am so opposed to the idea of "princess shopping" on so many levels that this will never happen ever)
*ELEPHUN THe eLEPHANT (This game is well-known to be a piece of crap, unfortunately.)
*GLOVES FOR MRS. CLAUS (Since the gift of a Christmas outfit for her American Girl doll, the doll has been named "Mrs. Claus," just until Christmas.)

And here is where she breaks out the BIG FONT, which makes me wonder if she's destined for a life of graphic design--seriously--could you make letters like that, in ink, when you were five?:

*PRINCESS DOLLS THAT CAN TALK (is there even such a thing?)
*BARBie GIRLS (NOT gonna happen. I'm so ticked off at Mattel for the stupid Barbie jumping horse fiasco on Bella's birthday that Barbie and I are totally not on speaking terms.)
*JAM'N (Backward 'J', backward apostrophe, but again, stylish font!) JeeP (This item might actually be part of the above, as in "Barbie Girls' Jam'n Jeep." I just don't know. But it won't be Jam'n here.)
*(again featuring all backwards apostrophes, but hey--she already uses them correctly more often than half the signmakers around town) DORA'S LET'S GeT ReADY VANITY! YAY (The "YAY" and exclamation mark are because she REALLY wants it--ugh.)
*SPARKLE AND TWIRL DORA (Don't even know what this is, but I know I don't like it.)
*LITTLE TIKES 2-iN-1 WORKSHOP (a little young, but we can adapt something)
*FISHING TIKE (Explanation: "When I wrote it, I couldn't remember that it was called a 'fishing rod.' So I just wrote 'TIKE' instead. Because that's who makes it." Yup, she's already brand-savvy...and has also apparently forgotten that she already has a pretty awesome REAL rod & reel.)
*NORMAL DOLLS (Your guess is as good as mine.)
And finally, an amendment, down there at the bottom in pink ink, because priorities changed during the making of this list, it seems:
*DORA'S TALKING KITCHEN, NOT A PRINCESS KITCHEN (This is the only item that comes up over and over, and I'm just so not thrilled about the prospect of another hunk of plastic sitting around the house.)

Obviously, this list is not the list I'd have created, but hey, it's not MY five-year-old Christmas, is it? All the same, I think I can take this list and come up with some decent workarounds and adaptations that will make her happy. I have some definite ideas, and will update after the fact, if I'm successful. If not, I'll be buried under a pile of pink plastic junk. Other things have been mentioned, like Webkinz stuff and American Girl accessories, and she has a pretty amazing gift coming from Grandmommy that may or may not get here in time for Christmas, and Grandmama (other one) is taking her to DISNEY WORLD in December, so this particular list isn't stressing me out too badly. I think I can make it work.

Want To Get A Kid Reading? Here's How!

When Bella and I got home from running errands today, we spent some time with the boxed DVD set of "The Electric Company" that I'd finally gotten around to ordering for her, and sang all the songs and tried to sound out as many words as possible before Bill Cosby or Morgan Freeman could. And here is where I take a minute to let everyone know that, if your kid is at all interested in learning to read, you can't make any better investment than DVDS OF "THE ELECTRIC COMPANY."
We've had them for about a week, and Bella has gone from knowing the sounds that the letters in the alphabet can make, to READING COMPLETE SENTENCES in that time. Seriously. Why is there no equivalent to this show around any more? I was reading competently at age 4, and my own mother swears by the influence of "The Electric Company."

TEC does tend to wear a body out, so we did take a nap break. Come on, I told you it was the best day ever--you had to know that would include at least a short nap. And with Bella, "short" is the only kind of nap there is. Bella made the peanut-butter sandwiches for lunch, and we spent the rest of the afternoon playing "Sphere" (your kid will be better at this than you would ever think possible) and reading. THE REST OF THE DAY, excluding a short dinner break when Daddy came home. Until her bedtime. And it never got boring, not EVER.

What did we read? Well. Here is where I get to share with you a rare moment of mothering inspiration, because frankly, this is genius. Bella LOVES looking at pictures on flickr. LOVES IT. And I noticed that many flickr photos have simple titles, descriptions, and tags. That gives you a LOT of words, which are associated with real-life images, and endless hours of reading practice material. Tags in particular are great, because they tend to describe the subject of the photo, which helps with comprehension. I don't guess any developmental stepping-stone has made me as giddy as this whole reading business. It's just phenomenal. She's got the concept of the silent 'e' knocked, as well as being able to swap out long and short vowel sounds, and hard and soft consonants. I am completely in love with this child, and her sweet, ever-growing brain.

Yep, it was a good day. Getting to have this time with my daughter before school starts and I go back to work has been a real gift, and I'm appreciating, and loving, every minute of it. Even with the Loudest Child in the Universe, bless her little noggin. Now, sing along with me:

Easy Reader, that's my name;
Uhn, uhn-uhhhhhhhn;
Reading, reading, that's my game;
Uhn, uhn-uhhhhhhhn.

Top to bottom, left to right;
Reading stuff is...OUTTA SIGHT!
Easy Reader, that's my name;
Uhn, uhn-uhhhhhhhn!

Dual Purposing

Bella caught sight, for the first time, of the logo on the package of bands I use to put her hair up. This is what is pictured on the bags, and yes, they are the bands that are made for wrapping up long show-poodle hair: The Daughter was NOT amused, and the sight of the picture on the bag drew this response: "Heeeeeeeyyyyy...these are for DOGGIES!!!"

Dang it. Now I have to go buy real ponytail-holders. We're hoping she won't catch on as quick about the crate we keep her in when we go out. (Note to overzealous indignant moms of the internet: we do not actually crate our daughter. Except at dog shows. No, seriously, never. Just like the drivewayside alligator pit, this is a complete fabrication. She did, however, teethe on Greenies.)

Haute Cuisine, With Toddler

I'm here to tell you, it CAN be done! On Mom's birthday, we celebrated at our very favorite restaurant, one I've raved about here before, chef extraordinaire Peter Brave's "Brave New Restaurant." This is a fabulous place, and pretty fancy-schmancy--it's not overly pretentious, but it's the kind of place where Alex and I can drop $100 on dinner with ease. And we don't drink, so...that's just for food, chil'ens. And it's worth every penny, the food's that good. Peter Brave is...well, my culinary hero.

Obviously, we don't get to go often, so we don't want our experience (or anyone else's) wrecked by the Wrath Of She Who Is Capable Of Sonic Screaming At A Moment's Notice. This very topic was just discussed on a friend's blog recently, so I was acutely aware of the various pitfalls of including a just-three-year-old in an evening of fine dining. We also had her eight-year-old cousin Grayson with us, but he is fortunately well beyond the age at which he would suddenly go Tasmanian Devil or spit directly ON us.

We've learned something. The secret to the success of such a venture lies not only in the hands of the child and her parents, but also in the savvy of the restaurant owner, management, and staff. This is not a booster-seat place, but I have a feeling that had we needed the "boost," they'd have come up with something. First up, the quick service upon our arrival. We all had something to drink and our orders taken swiftly. Then, greatest of all, and to our surprised delight, before appetizers or salads were served, our children were presented with beautifully arranged, complimentary fruit and cheese plates. Genius, I tell you! GENIUS!That, my friends, is a happy child eating a grape, instead of a restless child regaling the other patrons with her Very Special, Never-Sung-The-Same-Way-Twice arrangement of "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town." This is not a "kid's menu" place. All the better, because we had all the options in the world! Bella had some not-on-the-menu angel-hair pasta, with Basil Shrimp and fresh seasonal vegetables, and there was much proclamation of, "yummmm." Grayson had fresh breaded chicken cutlets and rosemary-roasted potatoes, and was also quite happy. He enjoyed Vanilla-Bean ice cream for dessert, while Bella and I each polished off a chocolate creme brulee'--a specialty of the house. The chef was even nice enough not to "cap" hers, and no one got all snooty about it! And see? We did not leave a giant swath of destruction in our wake! A perfect evening! Well...close. Right? You can't have everything. Oh, and in case anyone is worried, I was totally prepared to whisk my little darling out of there at the first sign of noise or trouble. Fear not, if you see us at a fine restaurant with you some evening.

Just A Warning

Because I can't even speak on the subject without becoming a spitting, ranting lunatic, let me just say to any person who even thinks of introducing my daughter to one of these abominations:
There will be consequences and repercussions. Severe ones. It was bad enough when these pre-teen role models of ho-dom were introduced (what a message--"Hey, you're cool if all you do is shop, flirt, and dress like a really cheap hooker with tons of makeup and a nose that was--what--shaved away to nothingness in an excess of plastic surgery?" ARRRRGH), but now there's even a ho-baby line. WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DAUGHTERS?

Seriously--the day Bella gets her hands on one of these, the person responsible is going to have such a pox upon their house...

UPDATE: Dave's comment reminded me of a post of his from a few months ago, which I never have been able to quite get out of my head (thanks, Dave!). I think the same people who buy the Lil' Hooker Baby Dolls for their daughters are the ones who are supporting this industry. Work safe, but not for the squeamish. You've been warned.