I Am So Glamorous, Or, Me And My Neti Pot

Ever since the precedent was set by this post from the incomparable Anne Glamore's "Tiny Kingdom", I have been wracking my brains to come up with a similar unflattering personal-grooming procedure that I could take pictures of and post for the entire internet. My brains being small and thereby easily-wracked, it didn't take long to come up with the answer: The Washing Of The Sinuses! What could be more interesting than seeing someone with no makeup and her hair pulled back in a most severe manner go through her bedtime routine of pouring salt-water through her head? And to know that she does it every day?

When you live in the CDC's "Most Allergic Place In The U.S." you learn all the pollen-fighting tricks. This is my best one. Secret weapon. It looks crazy, but when there is a thick, snow-like coating of yellow pollen over the entire world, and your dogs go outside black and come back in with yellow legs, trust me when I say that I know whereof I speak.

Usually, I would just make my own saline solution from iodine-free sea-salt and warm water, but my Mom recently discovered the SinuCleanse Nasal Wash System, and GOSH, I'm lazy, so it's perfect. Here's what you start with:You simply empty the contents of the packet into the Neti pot,and add warm water.Stir until saline solution is completely dissolved; just a few seconds. Honestly, the little plastic stirring-paddle is unneccessary if you have, um, a finger. The use of your own God-given digit also allows you to feel when the salt is dissolved.Now you're ready to stick it up your nose! See how pretty you look! And remember to breathe through your mouth, the better for to not drown. Tilt your head to the side opposite the nostril with the Neti-nozzle wedged into it, and start to pour.I have these mutant tiny nostrils, so I have to jam the thing pretty far up there to achieve the desired "nostril seal." You probably would not have this issue. My husband swears, as did my father, that the reason the women of this family have congestion problems is because of our allegedly tiny sinuses. He should talk; He only has ONE sinus. The other one is calcified, or some freaky thing. I nearly drowned him while trying to convert him to the Neti Pot because of this. Looking back, that's kind of funny (only because he survived, you understand). The flow through the sinus cavity starts as a trickle, then just flows straight through. And I swear it feels good.Then you clear your nose by blowing it gently, and repeat the process with the remaining nostril. What you see here is photographic documentation of the cleansing of my #2 nostril, as evidenced by the large salt-water stain on my shirt. That's what happens when a right-handed person attempts to use a Neti-pot with the right hand while simultaneously trying to photograph the process with the left.
There. Don't you all feel educated? And better-looking? But seriously--respect the Neti Pot, because it can change your life. Or at least the way you breathe and how often you get sinus infections and colds. Go forth and cleanse.