Last Minute Gift Panic?

I'd like to recommend a favorite cause of ours, begun and headquartered right here in Little Rock, Arkansas. I'm speaking of Heifer Project, International. You can give ducks, chickens, sheep, cows, rabbits, goats...even water buffalo! Best of all, on short notice, it's perfect--they can send an adorable animated e-card--INSTANTLY--to the person you're giving in honor of. There are several to choose from. We used this one: A Gift Of Hope.

Your gift can be anywhere from $10 upwards. So you can give a gift of, say, a lamb...or "a share" of a lamb. It all adds up, and if you read Heiffer's philosophy, you will see that this truly is "the gift that multiplies."

Haute Cuisine, With Toddler

I'm here to tell you, it CAN be done! On Mom's birthday, we celebrated at our very favorite restaurant, one I've raved about here before, chef extraordinaire Peter Brave's "Brave New Restaurant." This is a fabulous place, and pretty fancy-schmancy--it's not overly pretentious, but it's the kind of place where Alex and I can drop $100 on dinner with ease. And we don't drink, so...that's just for food, chil'ens. And it's worth every penny, the food's that good. Peter Brave is...well, my culinary hero.

Obviously, we don't get to go often, so we don't want our experience (or anyone else's) wrecked by the Wrath Of She Who Is Capable Of Sonic Screaming At A Moment's Notice. This very topic was just discussed on a friend's blog recently, so I was acutely aware of the various pitfalls of including a just-three-year-old in an evening of fine dining. We also had her eight-year-old cousin Grayson with us, but he is fortunately well beyond the age at which he would suddenly go Tasmanian Devil or spit directly ON us.

We've learned something. The secret to the success of such a venture lies not only in the hands of the child and her parents, but also in the savvy of the restaurant owner, management, and staff. This is not a booster-seat place, but I have a feeling that had we needed the "boost," they'd have come up with something. First up, the quick service upon our arrival. We all had something to drink and our orders taken swiftly. Then, greatest of all, and to our surprised delight, before appetizers or salads were served, our children were presented with beautifully arranged, complimentary fruit and cheese plates. Genius, I tell you! GENIUS!That, my friends, is a happy child eating a grape, instead of a restless child regaling the other patrons with her Very Special, Never-Sung-The-Same-Way-Twice arrangement of "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town." This is not a "kid's menu" place. All the better, because we had all the options in the world! Bella had some not-on-the-menu angel-hair pasta, with Basil Shrimp and fresh seasonal vegetables, and there was much proclamation of, "yummmm." Grayson had fresh breaded chicken cutlets and rosemary-roasted potatoes, and was also quite happy. He enjoyed Vanilla-Bean ice cream for dessert, while Bella and I each polished off a chocolate creme brulee'--a specialty of the house. The chef was even nice enough not to "cap" hers, and no one got all snooty about it! And see? We did not leave a giant swath of destruction in our wake! A perfect evening! Well...close. Right? You can't have everything. Oh, and in case anyone is worried, I was totally prepared to whisk my little darling out of there at the first sign of noise or trouble. Fear not, if you see us at a fine restaurant with you some evening.

Just A Warning

Because I can't even speak on the subject without becoming a spitting, ranting lunatic, let me just say to any person who even thinks of introducing my daughter to one of these abominations:
There will be consequences and repercussions. Severe ones. It was bad enough when these pre-teen role models of ho-dom were introduced (what a message--"Hey, you're cool if all you do is shop, flirt, and dress like a really cheap hooker with tons of makeup and a nose that was--what--shaved away to nothingness in an excess of plastic surgery?" ARRRRGH), but now there's even a ho-baby line. WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING? DO NONE OF YOU HAVE DAUGHTERS?

Seriously--the day Bella gets her hands on one of these, the person responsible is going to have such a pox upon their house...

UPDATE: Dave's comment reminded me of a post of his from a few months ago, which I never have been able to quite get out of my head (thanks, Dave!). I think the same people who buy the Lil' Hooker Baby Dolls for their daughters are the ones who are supporting this industry. Work safe, but not for the squeamish. You've been warned.

Satin Balls

Not what you think. There is a well-known recipe among dog-fanciers for a raw mixture to help dogs gain weight, or to feed during times of stress when they might need a healthy calorie-boost. It just so happens that the name of this blend is "Satin Balls." I know. Guys, go ahead and make up your own joke. We ladies are above such childishness. ahem.

So tonight, Alex mixed up a nice huge batch of Satin Balls to boost the diets of Hope, who is pregnant*, and J.T., the puppy we're conditioning to be shown early next year. Both are a touch on the thin side, and both are somewhat picky eaters. (Being that they're mother and son, those similarities are not surprising.) These things, these "Satin Balls," ridiculous name aside, are a miracle. No dog can resist them, and they pack weight on fast enough that you must feed them carefully. Alex has to mix them, because when you start with 10 lbs. of raw meat and then add tons of other stuff, he's the only one whose hands are strong enough to blend it thoroughly, and it's about 7 times more than could be accomodated by our stand mixer. So my he-man dons his Playtex Gloves of Super-Power, and does the mixing and forming,...and Bella and I are relegated to being bag-holders. We're the magician's assistants of this operation.(Note on above picture--It is NOT this warm here. Bella refused to leave the house today because, among other things like "I don't feel good," it was "too cold." Then she climbed up into her closet and took down the summeriest dress she could find, put it on, and spent the rest of the day proclaiming it NOT to be cold, or, in fact, winter. Denial runs strong in this family.)

And the Satin Balls have been received exceedingly warmly by the mommy-to-be. Exceedingly.

Yes, I washed my hands.

*Hope was scheduled for an ultrasound today to determine whether or not she was pregnant. Then literally overnight, she went from being shaped like her waspy-waisted little self to looking more like a round little roasting hen, her tummy definitely "dropped." So we're going to save the U/S money and assume that we're on schedule for Christmas puppies! Which would be extra-cool, since Hope herself was born on Christmas Day.

Hair Of The Dog?

I have a friend down in Australia who loves to "collect" websites that offer useless baby products...so here's my first entry in what may well be a series of the most useless products I've ever seen marketed toward dog-owners. "Happy Tail Ale" is basically beef-flavored malted barley-water. There's nothing harmful about it, and for a dog on a typical commercial diet, could even be a beneficial supplement. Here's an idea...give your dog some meat to eat. It's kind of what they were made to consume anyway, but that's a separate rant of mine.