Block Heads

I'm going through and bookmarking sites and making lists of things I love for Christmas this year, and the kids' selections are pretty slim so far. But I do have one resource that I really want to share, and that is wooden toy maker John Michael Linck. Well, Mr. Linck is not wooden; he makes wooden toys. You know perfectly well what I meant. Anyway, his stuff is amazing, and intended to last not just for years, but for generations.


Bella received, in 2003, when she was barely a year old, as a gift from her grandparents, Mr. Linck's fabulous Block Wagon. This is not a cheap item, by any means. But then again, it's...well, it's not a cheap item. It's meant to be an heirloom. It is the most-played-with toy she has ever owned, and she has never stopped playing with it from the time she first got it to the present day--right now it's in a prominent spot in the living room, and she builds from it several times a week.

Bella learned to pull up and walk with the aid of that block wagon. And then she built her first structures, which were, admittedly, simple in the beginning.

She used the blocks for abstract art, as seen here, in "Family Portrait, In Blocks."

Currently, one of her favorite things to do is to build a fanciful structure of the blocks, and then set up her easel and pastels and create a still-life based on what she's built from the blocks. She even photographs it--often.

I'm telling you, this thing is incredible, and I love that one day she'll be able to pass it down to her own child. The construction is flawless, and each block is satiny smooth and perfect.

Mr. Linck makes an assortment of toys, including a smaller pull-behind wagon full of building blocks, and an impressive set of wooden train cars meant to last a lifetime and beyond. Many items are affordibly priced, and there's even a "train car of the month" club, which I have to admit seems kinda cool. And there are TWENTY cars to choose from!


This is my contribution, totally unsolicited and uncompensated in any way, this year, to the No More Plastic Crap From China movement, as well as the effort to buy handmade, as far as major toy items go. You certainly couldn't do much better.

Cheap--I Mean, Inexpensive--Gifts That Are Awesome

You're welcome. I browse a lot of Etsy shops, make a lot of bookmarks, and read a lot of Southern Living. And I don't believe in going broke to celebrate occasions that are about giving. Without further ado, here are some really great finds, all less than $50, and most less than $20. I know I would be tickled to receive any item on this list, and we all know what good taste I have, right? Oh, and as always, I don't have any financial affiliation with any of these sellers; this is just stuff I like.

Food:

-The Lee Bros. Southern Cookbook, $35. Won the James Beard Cookbook of the Year Award.
-Speaking of the Lee Bros., try their Fresh Boiled Peanuts, $25.50 for 5 lbs. Ask Styro.
-Betsy's Cheese Straws, $4-23.00 Oh, so good.
-Jackson Biscuit Company's Southern Style Beaten Biscuits, $2.50 per dozen. A real treat.
-Lava Bar, $1.99 per half-dozen. The closest you can get to mainlining chocolate.
-Straight outta N'awlins, Aunt Sally's Pralines, $11.49 These were my dad's idea of heaven on earth.
-A hometown favorite, Cavender's Greek Seasoning, $15 per 6-pack. Arkansans use this stuff on everything. When I met Alex, this was the main weapon in his cooking arsenal, and it's a good one.
-BaconSalt, $4.49. My favorite is the Peppered variety, and my favorite use so far is with baked potatoes and pasta.
-And finally, if you want to make a displaced Southerner weep with nostalgia and joy, then spend $4 and treat them to an RC Cola and a Moon Pie. I'm a little teary-eyed just typing that.

Jewelry:

-Browse Yelena's whole store, starting with this Butter Jade necklace, $39. She's running a great holiday sale right now.
-Sterling silver bass-clef-inspired earrings, $14, which I love because they're pierced, but have no clasp or backing. Simple.
-Gorgeous, sweet little orange sterling-silver/polymer earrings, $17.90. Darling.
-Dragonfly "Earwings," $29. I love bug jewelry, and bonus points for the clever name.
-Cobalt Corian ring, $20. Yep, that stuff your countertops are made of. Way cute.

Art:

-"Stations," fine art print by Andrea Pratt, $40. I LOVE THIS PAINTING. Heck, I own the original. Andrea has printed some of her other work recently, so shop around her store a little.
-Chunky Landscape Prints by Mandy Budan, $40. This artist has really found a style that works for her, and despite not being a big landscape fan, I can't help but like these extremely interesting paintings she does.
-Photography by Schmutzie, from $15. She's gifted, has soul, and besides, she's a striking writer. And also, a writer who is currently on strike. Photos with depth, texture, and emotion.
-Inspirational items from Jen Lemen, $7-15. A really great way to uplift a sister.
-Retro-flavored prints, from $10, in splashy, delicious colors, many featuring long and lanky black cats or snooty poodles. These would be great for any deco or Eames fans, and they're just fun and funky.

Housewares:

-When I tell you that Heber Springs, Arkansas-based Aromatique is the best home fragrance purveyor in all the world, you need to just believe me. And their Cinnamon Cider line from $9-20, is the favorite of just about everyone I know, especially at this time of year. Just DELICIOUS.
-Japanese Pickle Press, $24.99. You don't even care what it does. You just like saying "Why, it's a Japanese pickle press," authoritatively, when you give it.
-CUTEST EVER roundish cranberry coffee mug, with four precious little round "feet," $15. The "feet" not only make this mug unique and adorable, they also serve to protect surfaces from condensation, so you don't need a coaster. Man, this thing is cute.
-More suitable to cafe au lait, nice wide-mouthed The Perfect Mug, $10, is just begging to be cradled in both hands.
-"Color Sample" Tableware, $4-7. I want just about every piece of this.
-Bella wants to use chopsticks BADLY, but just doesn't have the manual dexterity yet, so I can't wait to give her these Clothespin Chopsticks, $3.99.
-Hand-thrown Galaxy Bowl, $18. Just gorgeous, and I can't believe the price.

Novelty/Miscellaneous:

-The Elf On The Shelf, $29.95. Just check it out.
-Give someone Herpes (or mono, a cold, even mad cow), $7.99
-Catnip Banana, $4. Hilarious cat/banana interaction potential.
-Handmade wooden Gumball/Candy Dispenser, $15. I'm thinking this looks like a good option for Bella's teacher, who keeps big bowls of Skittles and M&Ms on her desk.
-Funky, cute retro-flavored aprons from Boojiboo, $15-22. These make me want to throw a non-alcoholic cocktail party. What? I don't know.
-Tiny Superhero Robot, $10. Just what it sounds like. A tiny, superhero robot.
-Cherry Wood Baby Rattle, $18.95. Perfect fin the current Toxic Toy Aftermath.
-From Lucky Threadz Tees, Grammar Crackers, $14. These is good.
-I want every single one of my dogs to have one of these knitted Holly Dog Collars, $12. This design is brilliant, and incorporates the holly branch, leaves, and berries. SO cute.
-Alex really wants one of these Ninja Remotes from ThinkGeek, $8.99, which allow you to commandeer just about any TV set. No more "Oprah" in the doctor's waiting room!
-If you know someone who's into flickr, then they might have MOO cards. And if they have MOO cards, then they want one of these clip-on MOOPockets, $15. Splatgirl has a stunning variety of fabrics.
-And while you're in Splatgirl's shop, you need to shop for your dog some more, and get him/her/them some of these fabulous, funky, colorful collars, $15. She also makes custom leashes to match.
-Dog Breed Puzzimals, $10, speaking of dogs.
-Finally, to Alex's utter delight, you, too, can give a loved one that gift, in a box, immortalized by Justin Timberlake. You know what I'm talking about. $25 buys you much hilarity, as well as increased cancer awareness and a donation to a cancer charity.

Oh, and stock up on Secret Agent Josephine's Gift Tags to keep your gifts sorted out, $2 per dozen, and super-cute.

Happy Shopping!

It's Not The List I'd Have Chosen

Fortunately for me, Bella, having the holiday-season attention span of most other just-turned-five-year-olds, will forget most of the things on this list...unfortunately for me, the stupid Dora's Talking Kitchen will NOT be one of those things. Some diplomacy and sleight-of-hand is going to be required if I'm going to get her wanting something else soon.

I asked Bella to make me a list of things she might like to have for Christmas, for Mommy and Daddy to choose from. (I do love that when she makes a list, she's pretty much expecting to get one thing, or maybe two, from that list, and not the whole list, which I'm betting will come later.) So she went and scrounged up a giant piece of cardboard, and here is the list she made, WRIT LARGE upon it:

And I quote, with original writing/spelling idiosyncracies:

*A PRINCESS KICHEN (see last item on list for more about this)
*A PRINCESS STORE (I am so opposed to the idea of "princess shopping" on so many levels that this will never happen ever)
*ELEPHUN THe eLEPHANT (This game is well-known to be a piece of crap, unfortunately.)
*GLOVES FOR MRS. CLAUS (Since the gift of a Christmas outfit for her American Girl doll, the doll has been named "Mrs. Claus," just until Christmas.)

And here is where she breaks out the BIG FONT, which makes me wonder if she's destined for a life of graphic design--seriously--could you make letters like that, in ink, when you were five?:

*PRINCESS DOLLS THAT CAN TALK (is there even such a thing?)
*BARBie GIRLS (NOT gonna happen. I'm so ticked off at Mattel for the stupid Barbie jumping horse fiasco on Bella's birthday that Barbie and I are totally not on speaking terms.)
*JAM'N (Backward 'J', backward apostrophe, but again, stylish font!) JeeP (This item might actually be part of the above, as in "Barbie Girls' Jam'n Jeep." I just don't know. But it won't be Jam'n here.)
*(again featuring all backwards apostrophes, but hey--she already uses them correctly more often than half the signmakers around town) DORA'S LET'S GeT ReADY VANITY! YAY (The "YAY" and exclamation mark are because she REALLY wants it--ugh.)
*SPARKLE AND TWIRL DORA (Don't even know what this is, but I know I don't like it.)
*LITTLE TIKES 2-iN-1 WORKSHOP (a little young, but we can adapt something)
*FISHING TIKE (Explanation: "When I wrote it, I couldn't remember that it was called a 'fishing rod.' So I just wrote 'TIKE' instead. Because that's who makes it." Yup, she's already brand-savvy...and has also apparently forgotten that she already has a pretty awesome REAL rod & reel.)
*NORMAL DOLLS (Your guess is as good as mine.)
And finally, an amendment, down there at the bottom in pink ink, because priorities changed during the making of this list, it seems:
*DORA'S TALKING KITCHEN, NOT A PRINCESS KITCHEN (This is the only item that comes up over and over, and I'm just so not thrilled about the prospect of another hunk of plastic sitting around the house.)

Obviously, this list is not the list I'd have created, but hey, it's not MY five-year-old Christmas, is it? All the same, I think I can take this list and come up with some decent workarounds and adaptations that will make her happy. I have some definite ideas, and will update after the fact, if I'm successful. If not, I'll be buried under a pile of pink plastic junk. Other things have been mentioned, like Webkinz stuff and American Girl accessories, and she has a pretty amazing gift coming from Grandmommy that may or may not get here in time for Christmas, and Grandmama (other one) is taking her to DISNEY WORLD in December, so this particular list isn't stressing me out too badly. I think I can make it work.

Is Sister Schubert Holding This Woman's Family Hostage?

Is it just me, or is there an air of desperation in this Sister Schubert ad? More specifically, in Sister Schubert's facial expression?

"Buy my rolls. Please. They have my children."

Also, today, during a commercial for Mirapex, which is being marketed to treat Restless Leg Syndrome, mixed into the listing of the possible side effects, I heard, "Notify your doctor if you experience an increase in gambling, sexual, or other intense urges." Um... OKAY THEN.

"Honey, where've you been, and why is our checking account empty?"

"Let's just say my restless legs got REALLY restless."


Crap like this would seem SO much funnier accompanied by a DaveToon