Saturday, October 7, 2006

Dear GAP: Stop It. Right Now.

funnyface

Seriously. You know what I mean, GAP. You and your creative agency, Laird+Partners. Just stop it. Leave our precious Audrey Hepburn alone, could you? The dance scene in "Funny Face" was sweet, charming, and endearing. But cutting Ms. Hepburn out and having her shill your sweat-shop-sewn, generic American uniforms to the backdrop of AC/DC? That's just wrong. It was wrong when it was Fred Astaire posthumously hawking vacuum cleaners, and it's wrong now. So stop it.

Also, GAP? During her "Funny Face" heyday, Ms. Hepburn was certainly a tall, skinny drink of water, appropriately suited for "skinny pants" and the like. As a matter of fact, she was 5'7" tall, and weighed in at a whopping 110 pounds. Just like so many American women of today! A full 2% of American women, I believe the statistic is, fit that body type now. So, good luck (but not really) with your brilliant ad campaign, and the sales of a record number of "skinny pants," GAP!

I think you're gonna need it.